Read This When You Miss Your Mom

“Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.” 

Mitch Albom, For One More Day

Losing a mother is one of the most devastating things in the world.  It happens and we somehow find the strength to go on.  The days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months, and before we know it here we are years later, wondering how we have made it this far without them physically in our lives.  I’d like to think that when someone we love dies their body goes but their love remains.  They live on through us.  Through the things they left behind and the memories they have made.

You’ll always miss your mom but there are moments in life when you just miss her a little more than usual. You’ll miss her when you’re simply in the store shopping and you see other women shopping with their mothers.  You’ll miss her when you can’t remember that recipe she begged you to learn.  You’ll miss her when someone else loses their mom.  You’ll miss her when something great happens and she is the first person you want to call but you know if you tried, it wouldn’t be her voice on the other end.  You’ll miss her on Mother’s Day when everyone else is celebrating their mothers and you feel all alone. You’ll miss her when you’ve had a bad day and you know that her embrace is the only one that can save you.  You’ll miss her when you meet someone who reminds you or her, or has the same laugh as her, or was just as kind as her.  You’ll miss her when you’re all alone in bed crying yourself to sleep because the thought of her being gone still comes as a shock to you. You’ll miss her when you need her advice.  You’ll miss her when you no longer get to talk to her five times a day.  You’ll miss her when you hear her favorite song.  You’ll miss her when you see older women who were lucky enough to live their life that long and you’ll wonder why you mom wasn’t able to.  You’ll miss her on the holidays and you’ll miss her on her birthday when you realize that another year has passed. You’ll miss her when you wonder what she would look like years later.  You’ll miss her when you go through a horrible break up and know her words are the only ones that could ever help. You’ll miss her when you’re staring at the beautiful summer sky wondering where she is but when you miss you mom remember how much she loved you, remember that she never wanted to leave you and there is nothing in this world that she wouldn’t have done to be able to see you live out your life.  When you miss your mom, go that extra step to make her proud, live the life she wanted you to live, be the person she wanted you to be.  When you miss your mom do something to honor her, something that can bring you joy.  When you miss your mom remember the way it felt to be around her, the way she hugged you, and the way she would have done anything in the world for you.

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But most importantly, when you miss your mom know that it is okay to miss somebody that much, that’s what unconditional love is and that’s what she has given you.

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105 comments

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  1. Beatriz

    I’m 53 and my mom past away 3 years ago… Coming from a strong Latin, Catholic family with a father that was a cop for 35+ years and a child of 13 children I consider myself the luckiest woman alive… even if everyone says they had the best mom in the world, I still believe mine was unique… she was everything I would like to be for my kids and more…. no technology at all to communicate miles and miles away but the power of love was all I ever needed to know how much she loved me. My mom was not just the best… she was the only person in the world that made me feel safe and worthy. I miss you mom!!!

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    • Kim

      My mum passed away on 3 July It hurt s so much when I see mum in pain. Before I never thought she going to leave me if I know I would hugs her tight never let her go. Since mum gone my heart is all in pieces miss her so much if I want to hug and kiss her all I do is cry miss her every day, I wish I can turn back the clock so I can make it all up the missing part that I feel what I did is not enough. Please some one can tell me or help me I want to see mum again 😭😭😭

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  2. Manyata

    I’m 20 and my mom past away 02 months ago as this made my cry MAA miss and really its very difficult for me to survive now.

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      • Franka Planinac

        My mom died 9 years ago, when I was 7. My birthday was a few days ago and the whole day I just thought of her, I thought of her bringing me into this world 16 years ago, but then leaving me a few years later. Lately, I’ve had thoughts about me being a bad child because I can’t even remember her voice. If there wouldn’t be any pictures of her in my house that I pass by and look at every single day I would even forget what sge looked like. It’s not fair, but life isn’t fair either. Mom, I miss you so, so much.

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  3. Yvonne

    Your words is touching my heart… My mom leave this world about 3 months ago and I still miss her… I just can’t help but missing her in the late night and crying alone on my bed… and I wasn’t by her side when she leaved… I felt so guilty… I’m sorry and I miss you, mom…

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  4. Johannna

    It hasn’t been a month, she passed away on July 23th this year. It feels like I have a giant hole where my heart used to be. It hurts to breath, to keep on going. Everything reminds me of her, my friends try to take me out to distract me and I just keep mentioning her because everything around me makes me think of her. Now that I’m the one managing everything, I realize how much she did for everyone, including me, she was such an amazing selfless person. I cry so much every night when I’m alone, sometimes I wonder if my tears will run dry. My eyes even feel diferrent, they burn.

    It’s true, thanks for writing this, I would give up everything in a heart beat to have just a moment more with her. Just to hug her and tell her how much I love her, tell her how lucky I was to have her.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. secondstartinlife

    I miss my Mother more than any words can describe, but on the other hand, I don’t miss the pain she was in and watching her die in front of me. I am only sad for selfish reasons. I am happy to know she is no longer in so much pain she couldn’t speak, or move. To know she can walk and talk freely now, makes my heart happy. I miss our times together but I know she’s with me everyday, as she leaves me signs. I cry, but out of selfishness rather than looking at all the positives that her parting has brought. No more pain. No more anguish. No more worry. She’s now free. I am thankful for that and knowing my Mother is in God’s loving hands having fun with her sisters and brothers, Mom and Dad and finally her Husband. I will one day be reunited with my Mom. Until then, I will cherish the moments I had not only with my Mom…but my very best friend. I miss you Mom. She passed away 4 months ago, we talked in length about her death. It was devastating to hear the news that she had stage 4 cancer and they wouldn’t give us a time frame of how long we had together, but we made the most of it and stayed positive until the end. There is never a guarantee of life, live for the moment and make the most of that moment. Love while you can, no regrets. You can never turn back time. Move forward and make your today a better tomorrow.

    Much love.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thomas

    “But most importantly, when you miss your mom know that it is okay to miss somebody that much, that’s what unconditional love is and that’s what she has given you”. She passed 3 hours ago, and I needed to read this sentence. God bless you.

    Like

  7. Lisa Mason

    Thank you so much . I lost my mum 3 months ago and she was the most precious thing in the world to me , the only person I have ever felt I could be myself with ,who I could tell everything to without the fear of judgement. We spoke everyday , several times a day + I always thought she would be there. This gives me great comfort x

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  8. Stephanie

    My mom passed away 11 days ago. Just had the funeral yesterday. I am grateful to have seen some of her friends who came to pay their respects. I feel like it’s hard to breathe. But I know that my mom is no longer suffering by the limitations of her physical body. She is free. And for that, I can carry on. Somehow.

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  9. bloodlinesavages

    Thank you for writing this.. It help me. My mother passed on Nov. 28 2015 from brain cancer. Me an my sister stop our lives to take care of her. Our family turnt their backs on us.. Because they couldn’t understand that they needed to come see her rather than talk to her on a phone.(Brain Cancer/Radiation)
    I watch my mom deteriorate… I seen her pain… Its was the hardest thing in my life to do… Watch my mother died at age 56. I still have flashblacks .. Since she left I try so hard to keep moving forward.. But I get side tracked with liquor n drugs. Your poem truly has helped me to rethink my process in grieving.

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  10. Linda Mathias

    I feel selfish to say this but, my mom is alive but has had Alzheimer’s disease for over 6 years, and does not know me anymore. My Dad passed when I was 12 y.o. and my mom was acting as both parents to me growing up. I always had her to talk to and she was so strong and vibrant. There are times i just want to cry and stay in bed, but I have a 20 year old daughter and have to stay strong for her. It’s been really hard. My husbands mother died 8 years ago of Multiple Myeloma and is depressed as well. It’s hard to find anyone to talk with and get it out. Thanks, for the post. I enjoyed your poem very much!

    Like

  11. Sylvia Rivera

    My mom passed away April 21, 2018 of Pancreatic cancer. She was diagnosed March 5th . She was my bff and I miss her dearly. Being an only child and being so close has made things much more difficult. The first of everything..Mother’s day, her birthday and I am dreading the holidays..I love you mom and miss you so very much..

    Like

  12. Denise Velsor

    I also miss my mother. She passed away 3 years ago. I remember as a child I would think about her dying someday in the future, and that thought was devastating. Fortunately she lived a long life, but Alzheimer’s slowly took her away from me. I miss her everyday, there will be no one who can replace her, but she has left me her love, I still feel it and I know that someday we will be together again. I was blessed to have such a wonderful mother. I use her example with my son and try to be the best mother I can be. Everything is temporary in life including this separation from our loved ones. Let them live on through you in the love you share in the world.

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    • Stephanie

      I have those exact same feeling about my mom who died just over a month ago.. I remember in my youth, thinking about her death and dreading it. And now here it is. But I also feel her love and have been keeping myself in check with how I am handling things now. I ask myself “What would my mom do?” and I strive to use the same dignity and grace that she always did. I miss her terribly and still cry every day, but I share the same philosophy about “everything is temporary” and I will be with her again.. Thank you for sharing your story!!

      Like

  13. bloomingsunshineblog

    Thanks for this! Been 7 weeks now and my heart is still shattered. My whole world has stopped. It’s heartbreaking to see that so many of us are in this horrible pain but hopefully we will heal. Sounds like you all had some amazing mothers. I know I did. ❤️

    Like

    • Stephanie

      And aren’t we blessed to have such wonderful mothers!! I can only dream of being half aa good a mom as she..but I am also blessed with a daughter and I see that she and I have a similar relationship that my mom and I had. So I might have learned a thing or two from her.. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Colleen

    I am 38 and I am coming up on one year since I lost my mother to Alzheimer’s disease. Some days I am able to look back on my memories with her and smile, other days I am so overwhelmed with grief. The thing is, when you lose someone, people ask you how you are doing for 6-8 weeks afterward. Past that it becomes awkward and people no longer bring the subject up. But your grief doesn’t miraculously end at that point. Sometimes I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. But I miss her so much every day. I am now pregnant with my first child and it breaks my heart to know that she will never know her grandchild. Or that my little girl will never know the amazing woman that was my mother. I guess I am just having one of those days. Today is especially hard.

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    • Stephanie

      I’m so sorry… and everything you said is true: people stop asking. It becomes awkward… I recently read a grief affirmation page (not unlike this one), and it said that we could also try to live just one day as if we know for absolutely certain that our loved ones are in a complete state of “Bliss.” and that the feeling of knowing this will comfort us like a warm coat. And that if we can do that for just one day, we may find we start to incorporate more days like this.

      I have struggled a lot with the notion of the “afterlife” and “heaven,” and wondering what/how my mom and my brother and my daughter’s father (all passed away within a few years of each other) are doing? And why can’t they somehow show me or tell me that they are okay?

      If I can shift my focus on the wonderful possibility that they are all in this Blissful state, then I am to be HAPPY, not sad. I have more moments (not days) that I can find comfort in that possibility.

      My life now is completely different. But my mother is my constant. I can only strive to live through her love and the wisdom I have received from her while she was here. I hope you somehow find that special thought, feeling, belief that can provide you that “warm coat” feeling as well.

      XOXOXO,
      Stephanie

      Like

  15. raswalkiesexpressions

    Thank u so much for such a lovely write up on a beautiful soul on this Earth called “Mother” I lost my mom this year on 22nd June. Its been almost 6 months since she has passed and m still in that shock. Stuck in that horrible night when she took her last breath in front of me and my dad. We were totally helpless that time. I still cant recover from the shock that she died in front of me due to massive heart attack followed by cardiac arrest and I couldnt do anything to save her. M stuck. cant really move on seriously. Donno how many days, nights, hours, minutes and seconds I have cried. I cant digest this fact that I cant see her, hug her, touch her, eat my favourite meals that she used to make with love and affection. Me and my elder sister miss her so much. I always think of possibilities of saving her that day. What I could have done to save my mommy, how could I saved her. These thoughts just eat me from inside. I hate to live with this fact that she is no more. I hate everything since she is gone. Life has never been so pathetic. She was my world and now she is no more. I feel m left alone in this big bad world. I dont have anyone’s back. I am all alone here. stuck here to live. Its almost impossible to live without her. This year in January we celebrated her 60th birthday. She was so happy on her bday. Never thought that it would be her last bday with us. and even my last birthday with her. Bdays will never be the same, festivals and family get togethers will never be the same. Nothing will be same. I hate this, I so hate this. I dont think I can ever live my life happily and peacefully just the way it used to be when she was alive.

    Everything that you have mentioned in ur write up is absolutly relatable. The recipe part is so apt. Yes my mom too begged me to learn her signature recipes and I didnt really pay attention to her. I thought I have a lot of time ahead to learn all that then why waste time now. I can learn all her secret recipes at the time of my marriage. But i guess this was never a plan for me. I had less time with her and I guess I should have known that before. Yes I hate watching people shopping, eating or going for movies with their moms. I hate watching old ladies with their even older moms. Why couldnt my mom live that long? why god took her away from me so early? why deaths even exist? Deaths are cruel. It just snatch ur loved one from u without ur permission and prior warning and thats so wrong. From now onwards the worst day would be mothers’ day. I really cant face that day. No way. I wont be able to see those happy faces flashing smiles with their mothers. this is hard really hard. I dont know when I can come out of this grieving phase. I guess I’ll have to live with it. Lets hope life gets easy after reading ur article. Let’s hope it helps me to deal with this situation. Thank u once again for this beautiful write up and also sorry for ur loss too. I cab totally feel ur pain. Moms are special and I love my mom a lottttt 😘😘😘😘 miss her terribly 😔😔😔

    Like

  16. Bart

    Just today, I sat at my computer and that one song came up that reminded me of the struggle I had when I lost my mother to a very aggressive form of Crohns disease. I’m 32 now, my mom died when I was 17. Today I felt like I’ve lost her just minutes ago. The uncontrollable tears, the hurt, the fear, the anger, everything happened as it did 15 years ago. I know that it’s ok to feel like this. She is worth every tear I shed, she deserves them. She did everything she could to make my life worth living and she still does to this day. Her love is still felt. I still visit the place where I’ve strewn the ashes every year. I accept that she’s never coming back, and most of the time it’s ok. But just as this article describes, sometimes it just pops back into your mind. And you cry like a baby.

    To everyone who has lost their mother. Be it recently or a long time ago. I want to say this: missing her is good. It means she meant a lot to you. It means she made such an impression on your life that it’s worth missing her forever. Cherish what she gave you and pass it on to others.
    The feeling of hurt will never fully go away, but that’s ok. She’s worth that and much more.

    Like

  17. Catherine Rostanti

    It’s been four months since my lovely, kind, wonderful Mum passed away. I miss her every day and I feel part of me is missing. I have chats with her most days and I pray she can hear me and know just how much she is missed. Part of me feels I can never be completely happy again because I just don’t feel life will be the same without her but she wouldn’t want me to be sad and feel this way so I try and carry on with life because that is what she would want me to do.

    Like

  18. Linda

    My mum died 26 September 2018 and I miss her so much, can’t accept that she’s gone, how can she be? I held her hand and said its ok mum, its ok, I couldnt say goodbye. When I see the sadness in my dad, it breaks me.

    Like

  19. Michael

    My Mother passed away abruptly on January 06, 2019 and my heart is totally broken. I love my mother so much and I miss her presence. She is the only person besides my maternal grandmother who truly loved me and now I don’t have anyone. God why was this pain inflicted on me. I wish I could tel my mother one last time that I love and miss her.

    Like

  20. Tom BRADY

    you used to read your book in the chair and whether it was good or not you fell asleep. That told me how good the book was or how tired you were. That is the fine point along with MANY others that stand out about how you were such a good mother to me and Lynn and Diane and Glen. It is hitting me the most now, Mom, because as of one year ago you were taken from us. It is hitting me the most because of Dr. Pava saving my life with a shunt he put in me. I’m glad that I am here now to write this note about that particular incident and say thank you to what you and Dad did for me. I have to cut this note short now but I will return later after I stop crying due to me missing you so much.

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  21. Susanne Shaw

    I lost my mom in 2007…seems like forever, seems like a minute ago. I am missing her so much right now I can’t see straight. Sometimes I’m fine, sometimes I need her more than life itself. It is crazy how I can’t seem to get over her. I have a friend who lost her mom. She didn’t spend much time with her in her last days and she gave away her mother’s precious, cherished dog when her mom died. I am having a hard time understanding that.

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  22. Nadia

    I am 15 and I lost my mum in August but this has just hit me snd I feel so rubbish wish I can be with my angle but God has my angle safe gbnf love and miss you always and always in my heart 💔😇😭

    Like

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