Read This When You Miss Your Mom

“Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.” 

Mitch Albom, For One More Day

Losing a mother is one of the most devastating things in the world.  It happens and we somehow find the strength to go on.  The days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months, and before we know it here we are years later, wondering how we have made it this far without them physically in our lives.  I’d like to think that when someone we love dies their body goes but their love remains.  They live on through us.  Through the things they left behind and the memories they have made.

You’ll always miss your mom but there are moments in life when you just miss her a little more than usual. You’ll miss her when you’re simply in the store shopping and you see other women shopping with their mothers.  You’ll miss her when you can’t remember that recipe she begged you to learn.  You’ll miss her when someone else loses their mom.  You’ll miss her when something great happens and she is the first person you want to call but you know if you tried, it wouldn’t be her voice on the other end.  You’ll miss her on Mother’s Day when everyone else is celebrating their mothers and you feel all alone. You’ll miss her when you’ve had a bad day and you know that her embrace is the only one that can save you.  You’ll miss her when you meet someone who reminds you or her, or has the same laugh as her, or was just as kind as her.  You’ll miss her when you’re all alone in bed crying yourself to sleep because the thought of her being gone still comes as a shock to you. You’ll miss her when you need her advice.  You’ll miss her when you no longer get to talk to her five times a day.  You’ll miss her when you hear her favorite song.  You’ll miss her when you see older women who were lucky enough to live their life that long and you’ll wonder why you mom wasn’t able to.  You’ll miss her on the holidays and you’ll miss her on her birthday when you realize that another year has passed. You’ll miss her when you wonder what she would look like years later.  You’ll miss her when you go through a horrible break up and know her words are the only ones that could ever help. You’ll miss her when you’re staring at the beautiful summer sky wondering where she is but when you miss you mom remember how much she loved you, remember that she never wanted to leave you and there is nothing in this world that she wouldn’t have done to be able to see you live out your life.  When you miss your mom, go that extra step to make her proud, live the life she wanted you to live, be the person she wanted you to be.  When you miss your mom do something to honor her, something that can bring you joy.  When you miss your mom remember the way it felt to be around her, the way she hugged you, and the way she would have done anything in the world for you.

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But most importantly, when you miss your mom know that it is okay to miss somebody that much, that’s what unconditional love is and that’s what she has given you.

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70 thoughts on “Read This When You Miss Your Mom

  1. Celice

    Every single situation you described has happened for me. It’s been almost 4 years and the pain is not as raw as in the beginning, but it never goes away. It never will. And somehow that reminds me that her love was like no other.

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    1. Renee

      Everything you said, Is sooo true! My Mommy has been gone now for 21 yrs now. And My Daddy for 7 yrs.
      I’ve been through some horrific ordeals over the yrs and needed/wanted her (both of them) by myside physically…
      I do know I got my strength from my mom & my No stop attitude from dad.
      Because of them one of my life sayings is:
      It may slow me down But it wont stop me!!!
      I do shout outs to her, to him on special occasions… On their Anniversary day of passing, I do a dinner of their special foods…
      And talk to them often…
      I miss her corny jokes, how she loved her coffee and wonder if she would like starbucks??? I can hear her yell at me because I would Never want to eat sushi & Now I Love it!!!!
      Miss my dad singing with all his heart (I get that from him too), trying out new recipes together & going wine tasting…
      So Yes, all the things you say are true….
      For those of you lucky enough to still have your parents, cherish them because you’ll never know when they may be taken away…
      For when they are, you’ll at least have beautiful memories to help you through it…

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    2. Robin

      My mother passed in July, 2017. Our family was blessed to be able to keep her home with us during her later years. I have solace in knowing that she is resting in the bosom of Jesus and happier than she has ever been. If given the opportunity to return to this earth she would not but her strongest desire is to have her family members be with her when they transition. God Bless All of You.

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  2. Cynthia

    This is so true. A beautiful definition of a loving caring mother. But not everyone had this kind of mom in their lives. I’m sad for the ones who didn’t. Fortunately when my biological mother left me in the hospital at birth I was blessed to have my maternal grandparents come and take me home and under their wings and provide me with a wonderful childhood filled with them teaching me all about Gods love and grace. I am blessed!!!

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    1. Pamela Jean Burns

      kbailey374 My adopted granddaughter is named Bailey (born 08-04-2015). My kids got to stay with her all weekend, taking her home on the 12th. My daughter is in the Navy going to school (Orthodontist), her husband is stay at home dad. Came to CO. 2015, my mom held her. Then mom went into Hospice House 9-13-16 to 11-18-16. we called family in 2 times. On 11-18-16 we brought her home to live with us. COPD, going blind,deaf, oxygen (85yrs.young). Kids came while mom was in Nov. Mom got to hold Bailey again. She turned 86, SUPER BOWL SUNDAY. Had small party with her sis, her husband,2 cousins, Buck & I. She ate cake & ice cream. Mouthed words of Happy Birthday. Last 2 weeks of Feb. really declined. Passed March 3, 2017. My real dad’s birthday. I said Jesus took her that day so she could personally thank him for giving them my sis & me. (They had been divorced since 1958). I will never regret caring for her for 4 1/2 months with Hospice help & A TERRIFIC HUSBAND & MY LORD & SAVIOR.

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  3. Rini

    Made me cry…it has been almost two years since i lost my mother..but every single thing written in this article is exactly as if you tore a page out of my life..i am touched…and i miss her like hell..its like a phantom limb pain…

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    1. Bannie

      You described exactly how I feel, it’s 2 years since my mom left us, 19th March would have been her 57th birthday. The pain is on steroids. A year after her passing, my one & only sister I had, followed! It’s an everyday devastating agony!

      😦

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  4. Julie

    It’s been 2 months and I can’t stop crying .my siblings don’t share my grief . It was unexpected and I’m lost, this article has helped a little . We were as close as best friends .

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    1. tee

      I completely understand the sibling situation , my mom has been gone for 9yrs and it was unexpected also, we were best friends and inseparable my life has changed so much i fell into the worst depression. .i feel that no one i know understands the pain of it expecially that ,i feel that she was the only one that has ever loved me unconditionally. .every one thinks to just move on but how..

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    2. Greg

      Have lost my mother more than a week now
      From dementia,I took care of her for about 2 years at home 24/7
      It wasn’t easy to see her change until she need it to go to a nursing home and about two months afterward she past away
      It is painful not to hear or see her anymore knowing she’s gone is something that I don’t accept !!’
      I want answers
      I demand answers from the otherside the beyond
      Sure enough life not fair.

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    1. Deanna

      I want to hug you. I know the pain. I lost my mom February 3, 2012. It’s been five years….it still hurts but it does get a little easier. I prayed for the day that her being gone was no longer my first thought in the mornings.

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  5. Cherrie

    I had no clue my mother was about to leave us. It’s been 13 years since she’s been gone.March 12 was her 73rd birthday and I cried like it just happened. To realize that she won’t be here to celebrate your granddaughters graduation and wedding this year made it more harder for me. I miss my mom so much but I know she’ll be with us in spirit. May God strengthen us day by day.

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  6. Marilynn T.

    It’s been 12 years since my best friend, my Mom moved into Heaven. The day my Mom died it was on my Birthday. I was never able to go through the grieving. I no longer celebrate my Birthday as it is too painful. But I do call it my Mom’s birth into Heaven. Everything you described is what I go through almost each day. There are so many things that remind me of my Mom, where I talk to her. I believe she is near me. It’s just so very hard.

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  7. Robin

    Well today is my 52nd birthday. My mom said it was mine and her special day the kinda day only a mom and child can have.
    On April 9 2014 my mom my lifelong friend went to heaven. The worst day of my life for sure As I laid on her bed and hugged her like I did when I was a little girl I told her all the things I needed her to know. Even though I told her every day I loved her as I get up to give her that final kiss there was a single tear streaming down her face and at that moment I knew I would see and live with her eternity. Love you so much

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  8. Rozanna Loughrey

    My mother was/is my best friend, I lost her 6 yrs ago. No other person understands my heart, oh I’m sure there is, however she held my family together and now we’re dealing with my father’s illness and certain family members are not stepping up to help. My mother’s answers aren’t there anymore. Breaks my heart daily.

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  9. Stephanie

    November 2015, my mom turned 70 and we through her the biggest old school 70’s party. Me and my sister invited everyone and she had a ball. She died January 6, 2016 unexpected of a heart attack. I can still here myself screaming as I walked into her front door and saw her lying there. This article is everything I feel. The pain never goes away, I miss her so much.

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  10. Angie Pather

    My amma (mum) died of cancer on 9/04/1990 but the yearning, void, hurt & pain never dies:-( not a day goes by without a thought or speech of her as well as our other departed family (mum, dad, sister, hubby, brothers-in-law, niece & nephews + grand parents, aunts, uncles & cousins. Death is so final & a bitter pill to swallow:-( Forever love & eternally miss all our precious departed souls:-(

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  11. Jackie Bush

    It has been 10 months since I loss my mom & the grief is still raw. What makes my grief even worse is that I loss my dad 11 months ago. My dad died April 15, 2016 from ALS & my mom died a month later May 13, 2016 from COPD & a broken heart. I grieve so much more for my mother than my dad but dad was so miserable from ALS. There are things worse than death & that is definitely suffering from ALS! The thing is my mom has been sick for years but my dad was never sick & at 69 yrs old he still worked full time & was very active & he just adorned my mother. My brother & I cared for them both for months prior to their death. Being the only girl with 3 brothers my mom & I were close but still bumped heads frequently. I have regrets that eat at me when it comes to my mother. I was not prepared to live without my mom even as much as she tried to prepare me. After my dad’s death mom gave up & quit eating & by this time she was n bed 24/7. I talked to my mom everyday even before she got so sick. I still pick up the phone to call & tell her stuff. She was my best friend the only person I told everything to & the only person who loved me unconditionally. My heart literally hurts and longs to see & talk to my mom.

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  12. Stephanie

    My mother will be gone a year in March 25 2017 everything you said is exactly how it is. I still to this day have to stop and do a double let check then I cruy grandbabies had pics taken at daycare​ andy first thot was tomake sure I had 5×7 for her and then I remembered he isn’t here. This is so far the worse Pai I have evwe felt

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  13. Valorie

    Exactly my thoughts!!
    My mom passed away 4-1-92 after a brave battle with ruthless breast cancer. Seeing my beautiful mother fight for her life was something I never envisioned such a thoughtful, caring “put everyone first” woman would be trying to accomplish. I miss her everyday so very much especially when I want to share my life’s special events and the not so special ones too. I miss her hugs when she knew you needed one, guidance whether you needed/wanted it, and her zealous joy for life, love for my daddy and pride she had in us kids. She was truly one in a million and a great example of how a woman should be!!!
    I only hope I’m half the woman/daughter/sister/wife/mother/grandmother/friend/disciple of Christ that she was!

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  14. Kathy

    In March 2010 I was on a cruise with 6 other women to Mexico & we had been at sea for 2 days & finally hit our first port of Manzanillo. As we were preparing to disembark to meet up with our tour guide to go to our excursion for the day, the ship’s personnel told me I had to go to the purser’s office as they wouldn’t let me off the ship. So I went. They took me to a office with only a desk with a telephone in it & said “call home”. I didn’t question & automatically dialed my mom’s number (that IS home, right? Even though I’d moved out of her house in 1980!) My brother answered her phone & I said Rick, they won’t let me off the ship, what is going on? (Unsaid words were why wasn’t he at work on a Monday morning & why is he answering mom’s phone?) And he stopped me by saying “Kathy, mom died last night”. The last words my mom said to me 2 days prior were “Have fun & remember I love you”. This loss was so rude, and all encompassing. I had no idea what this was going to feel like & I only wish I would have spent more time with my mom on the whole. Regrets? Not realizing my mom only wanted to spend more time with me & treating her as if she would be here forever she only wanted what was best for me & I miss her so much….I’m sorry momma….I’m should have spent much more time with you I didn’t know how big the vacuum would be when you were gone…forever.

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  15. Beckie

    My Mom died when i was three weeks old so i never knew her. I grew up in a Children’s Home. Believe it or not, i miss her more as an adult than i did in my early years. I was always jealous of my friends growing up and their relationships that they had with their Moms. Now that I’m a Mom, there are so many times when i wish i had a Mom to talk to and share what would be her Grandkids with her. I know one day i will meet her and that make it a little easier.

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  16. Angie

    This was good to read and I needed to read it. My mama died 4 1/2 months ago at age 79. She would have been 80 the same month she died in. That age sounds old but until her strokes began she was so active and vibrant. I was so shocked that she died, yet knowing all along that it was coming. I have just begun my grieving now. For whatever reason, I couldn’t turn loose of many tears until recently. My dad has early Alzheimer’s disease so maybe I try to stay strong for him. He is so lost, looks so sad without mom. It has helped reading everyone’s comments, just knowing I’m not the only person with this kind of grief. Thank you everyone, and to you all….. I’m very sorry that YOU lost your mother 💜

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  17. Louise

    In July my Mom will be deceased 7 yrs. – some days it seems like yesterday & others days it seems like eternity. I miss her on a daily basis but have many good memories to hold on to. My Mom was one of a kind – do have some of her traits – good ones of course lol. My children got to spend time with their grandparents which was such a blessing & even Great Grandchildren. I hope I’m that blessed. My parents had so much love to give & were always there for my sister & I. Love you Mom & Dad Forever ~ until we meet again ❤️

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  18. Dawn

    Its been 3 weeks and I am still a mess. She was only 59 and had a massive heart attack. No way to know or prepare. Im glad my last words to her the night before was I love you. She was my mom, my dad and my best friend. Im mad because I am the only only one still grieving while everyone else is able to move on. I keep waiting for her to call me 5 times a day just to say hi.

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  19. Barbara Ann

    Lost my mom Dec 20 th , can’t seem to let go , I cry a lot , miss her terribly. Lost my dad 15 yrs ago , I thought that was hard , this is the worse , she died as I held her hand . Crying as I write this , will I ever get over the fact she is gone 😦 😥

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    1. susie

      I’ve not lost my mom physically, yet I’ve lost her. She’s not known me for 8 years. I long to talk with her. To hear her laugh with my grandchildren. I grieve for her, and she’s still alive. No one understands. I can’t discuss my grief because she breathes. I miss her, she’s gone where our mothers go when they have Alzheimer’s. I want to communicate, I want hugs, I want to share my life with her. I want to ask her questions. Mom, I love and miss you, even when I’m sitting there with you.

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  20. Yolanda

    November 1, 2015 lost my mom, she was the world to me. I still cry almost daily I hide from my family when I cry they don’t want me crying…..I see that I’m not the only one with such pain…..RIP mom.

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    1. Left behind

      I loved the article. Thanks to Jenna Rose and for those who post comments and shared their thoughts and feeling..
      I lost my Mom — my best friend, my confidant, my cheerleader, my strength, my hero, my guidepost and “life coach”, my beacon, my voice of reason, my heart — six months ago. Like yours was for you, my Mom was my world — she always knew exactly what to say, gave wonderful hugs, and even on my worst days always always made me feel better and that things will be ok. Except for our Lord, no one knew/knows me like my Mom. There is no one who understands my heart as she did. I miss her company, her smile, her hugs, her gentle touch, her sparkling eyes, her smile, her laugh, her sweet voice and the sound of her saying my name, her unconditional love, our coffee chats, our talks about the littlest things and also about the most important things. There is no one I can talk to like her. She died a month after being diagnosed with late stage cancer. When she was diagnosed, I fell apart and cried and told her I can’t picture a life without her and that I would have no one to talk to anymore. Sweet as always, she said “You can still talk to me whenever you want — I’ll always and forever be your Mom. And if God let’s me, I’ll talk to you.” So I talk to God everyday, and I talk also to my Mom everyday — it’s not the same, of course — but it does help get me through yet another day. I do what I need to do every day (work, clean, grocery shop, etc.), but I too cry every day and when I am alone — some days are harder than others. Family and friends don’t seem to understand. I know they mean well. Some think I should be “over it already”, others say I will “get through it” — they don’t seem to get that this is not about moving from one side to the other, not about a bad storm that you get through and that will be over the next day and then we can all live like we did before. My head does understand and thus accepts that she has passed away, but everyday my heart will continue to ache from the absence of her presence.
      My Mom is the first person I think of in the morning and the last one I think of before I go to bed — I don’t plan it that way, it just is — and it’s a beautiful way to start and end the day. And she will always be the one I think of when someone tells me to “Make a wish!” No, I won’t get over it, I won’t get through — but with God and my Mom’s help every day, I will live with it.
      As best as possible, I do try to keep in mind what someone said to me: (1) Cry whenever you need to and for as long as you need to — don’t let anyone tell you shouldn’t be crying or that there is some sort of time limit, because there isn’t . (2) You will not get through it, you will learn to live with it. (3) The love is still there! and (4) It’s a comma, not a period. You will see her again.
      Oh if only heaven had visiting hours. I love and miss you Mom!

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  21. Keira

    This had me bawling, this is it to a tee, my mom gained her wings November 29th, a true nightmare, she had (we were told she was lucky) she found out so early she had stage 1 lung cancer a small mass, a centimeter, she went to have surgery, made it through recovery I walked away after talking to her for a minute making sure she was fine first, I stepped away for 15 minutes, I came back and my momma was gone, they were doing chest compressions, I flipped, my mom was fine and healthy except for that small mass that they decided to just rush her into surgery within a couple of weeks of finding out, the image keeps playing in my head, walking in seeing my mom gone, I kept yelling what did you guys do to her she was just fine, bring her back!!!!! The doctor came in and opened her up right in ICU, an artery they had stitched had busted, she passed away from bleeding to death, and I was not there!!!:( I blame myself for leaving because she died alone in that room….they were able to get her heart to start she was placed on a respirator for 6 hours and they said she was brain dead, I talked to her the whole 6 hours, no movement but tears in the corner of her eyes, they said she could not hear me, any way I’m tore up over this, it feels overwhelming not having her, she was my only parent, the only one I had except my 5 year old and two year old. I’m still so lost and I feel heavy in my heart when I think of that day, this is so painful…………..

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  22. Vicki

    I can relate to just about all of this. My mama passed away 4 months ago, Jan.4,2017. I feel so lost,as we have been together all my life. If u saw me, u saw her and vise versa. We were very close. I feel apart of me is missing. I love and will forever miss her. I cry daily and sometimes I am so depressed., but I have the blessed hope that I will see her again. Until Jesus comes back, rest well my sweet loving mother,until we meet again.

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  23. hope1964

    Every thing you described here is so true. I even cried reading it because I realized I wasn’t alone. Someone else feels exactly the way I do. My dad died when I was 4 and I wonder if that isn’t why I held onto my momma so tightly. She was my best friend and was involved in every aspect of my life. She was the best grandmother any one could have been and she was so close to my older boys but my 12 year old son never got to meet her. Thank you for helping me realize I’m not alone.

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  24. Jan

    This article made me cry, it is nearly 2 years without my beloved mum and also 17 yrs since my dear dad passed away. I don’t have children (am 56) and no partner and I have never ever felt so frightened and alone in my whole life; I do have 2 brothers who live miles away and there is not a lot of contact, even though I try. How have 2 years nearly passed when it seems like only yesterday, the absolute pain of grief renders me to a point I cannot breathe through the tears, then I get up and go to work and put a smile on my face. I have not been well with a crappy virus and all I wanted was my mum as there is no one else on this earth who you want.

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  25. carol

    I lost my mum 11 months ago, she was my best friend and we did everything together, she was part of my every day routine. Now I just go through the motions of living. The emptiness at times is underable. I have a very loving and supportive family yet the loneliness inside me is always there. Its still early days and my grief is still very raw, but I know that no amount of time or years will ever stop me missing her (or my dad who passed on 22 years ago this November) , and I wouldn’t want it to either. I know in my heart they will always be with me and that one day we will be reunited. And so it feels fitting to end this with the words I spoke to my mum every single day, night godbless mum, love you

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    1. Left behind

      Carol, I am in the same boat and similar scenario as you. Each and every day is a challenge. I cry every day, some days more than others. My heart will forever have this ache as a result of the whole that was created when that piece of my heart went with my Mom the day she died six months ago. I posted earlier today (see above), so I won’t reiterate everything, but I feel so much same as you — my Mom and I did everything together — she was (and still is) my Mom and my best friend, and I am so glad that God made her both. I could talk to her about anything and everything. She was my anchor and also my life’s GPS! She was never judgemental, always supportive, and always the epitome of a Mom’s unconditional love — she always made me feel that no matter what, everything will be ok — oh how I miss that, and her hugs, her smile, our daily coffee breaks, everything!
      Someone once said the following to me, and as best as possible, I do try to keep them in mind (though it’s not always easy): (1) Cry whenever you need to and for as long as you need to — don’t let anyone tell you shouldn’t be crying or that there is some sort of time limit, because there isn’t . (2) You will not get through it, you will learn to live with it. (3) The love is still there! and (4) It’s a comma, not a period. You will see your loved one again – God did not put us here only to abandon us.
      I wish you, Jenna Rose, and all readers peace — close your eyes and think of your Mom’s arms wrapped around you giving you one of her warm and comforting hugs that is specially meant for you! And hear her whisper, “Oh my dear child, so much do I love you! God made me your Mom and your heart’s first home. I was your Mom before you were born, I am your Mom today, and I will always and forever be your Mom because that was always God’s plan. You always have my love. And remember, I am always just a thought away.”

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  26. Barb

    Today is the one year anniversary of my mom’s passing. I too feel the rawness. I am going to the cemetery today to take a plant. I have flowers and an altar set up at home to honor her. She died hours after I saw her the day before her passing. Sadly, there was bad behavior with the siblings and I am now estranged. So not only the hurt of losing her, but also losing them. Not that we were ever close (siblings) but it was indirect contact because of my mom. I still feel the pain and loss of my mom and hope that this next year will be easier. Now, I have so many questions, that I do not have answers to. Sorry I did not ask more, but her last 2 years she had dementia and a brain injury, so many things she could not answer or remember. Still, I love you and will always miss you and honor you mom, for your life was not easy. Know you were loved………..

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  27. Pingback: Read This When You Miss Your Mom | Just Jenna Rose | Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library

  28. Anirudh

    My mother died because of that stupid thing known as cancer!!!She was my backbone she always gave suggestions to me and she loved me more than my younger brother and sister!!!But when i got to know that this is now just a dream left for me when i miss her!!!Its been 2 yrs since she’s gone and this is more than a punishment living without your mother when i use to mesmorise the beautiful memories my tears always came out and i just control my pain!!!I love youuuuuuu so much mummy I want to be your son for 7 everytime i born in this world!!!And i will make you Proud one day for sure!!I love you so so muchh my dear mummy even words are short that how much i love you!!!I know we made some promises to each other but some can’t be completed without you and at last i just want to say I love you and please i pray to god that wherever you are be happy and stay blessed!!!Love you my fighter mom!!!

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  29. Kathleen Poetzsch

    This will be the fifth Christmas without my mom. For many years it was just she and I, after my dad passed away. I was her caregiver, and after she had to go to a nursing home, I went to see her there every day. My mom was very strong and hung on as long as she could, I was with her when she passed. I miss both of my parents, but at Christmas I really miss my mom so much. After reading all these other folks’ stories, I know it will never really stop hurting, and I still get awfully depressed sometimes. But I do try to carry on and live my life so she and my dad would be proud.

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  30. Wendy Dunbar

    My mom has been gone a little over two years. She died in her sleep. She was everything to me. I still have my dad,husband and son. But I miss that womanly bond I had with her. The not being able to pick up the phone when I need someone to talk to. I will never ever find the bond/ friendship that I had with her. There is an emptiness that I don’t think will ever go away. I miss her terribly and still have spells of breaking down and crying that she is gone. I find things that I forgot I had that she gave me and it starts all over again.

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  31. babbuly

    My mom passed away on Jan 1st 2018, a sudden heart attack after undergoing a heart surgery 2 week before that. She was recovering well, when she passed away suddenly after having dinner. My life has turned upside down after that, I am completely devastated. She is my best friend, my soulmate, my life. I don’t know how i am going to live without her.

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      1. babbuly

        Hi Pietro, Thinking about my mom every single minute. It is an unbearable pain. Unfair that it is irreversible. I am going thru a lot of guilt and regret that it was a bad decision that she had the surgery. Had it not been for the surgery she would be with me now. She was everything to me, a source of positive energy. Can’t believe she is not with me now.

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  32. Claire

    My mom passed away a month ago and it still doesn’t even feel real. It hurts every single day, my mom was my best friend. I’m 16 and it’s scary and devastating to think about my future and how she won’t be in it with me. This post was really helpful, thankyou.

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  33. Carin Williams

    I lost my mom in 1989 when she was 59 years old to heart disease. I was 34 years old. I’m now 62 & have so many questions to ask her but I’m not able to.

    Thank you for your beautiful words. They ring true every day! Thank you so.much!!

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  34. Sarah

    This article is really touching. It describes what I have always felt since my mom was gone. unfortunately, I was only 5 when my mom left me and I didn’t have the chance to know her. I miss her every time I see people with their moms, I miss her when I’m ill, I missed her when I graduated. I always miss her like hell, she is the only truth in my life.

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  35. missyoumom

    I lost my mom 7 months ago. She had multiple myeloma, but she was going to have a transplant and the prognosis was very good according to the doctors. Somehow her health deteriorated very quickly while I was on a business trip for my new job in another country. She hid everything from me and didn’t let anyone call me to tell me she wasn’t doing well and every time I called her she said she was getting better and soon leaving the hospital where she was just preparing for the transplant. She knew this meeting was very important to my career and I was going to make a presentation to the whole company on behalf of the M&S Director. She still called me the day of the presentation to know how it went and the next day, when I flew back to see her, she passed away during my flight. I honestly believe she knew she was going to pass away but wanted to live enough for me to be successful and do my presentation instead of flying back and leave the conference to see her (as she knew I would). To this day I work my ass off to honor what she did for me even though most mornings I wake up just wishing I could stay in bed forever and cry my eyes out. But I know she would be pissed at me, so I get out of bed and I work and work and work. I know how proud she would be if she saw how successful I became, what a beautiful house I just bought, what a loving husband I have… I owe it all to her.

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  36. EL Manevitch

    My mother just passed on Feb 9 suddenly. I didn’t learn about it until Feb 14 when I cousin called me to tell me the police found her unresponsive in her apartment. She was my rock and my best friend. With her I only found strength to go on simply with the sound of her voice. I loved her dearly and we would talk every night between 11 PM and Midnight to tell about our day. We were talking about moving in together after being apart almost 30 years next year.

    Life is so empty and lonely without her. I have no spouse, no kids, no siblings and really few friends. I’ve always been more of a loner and found her company to really be all I needed to fill the void. All I have is work and TV now and the boredom and grind is driving me up the wall. I never wanted to accept that she could pass away. I lived in endless denial.

    I haven’t cried yet maybe because I haven’t seen her remains. Living in different cities I had her cremated so that she can be with me and not alone in a graveyard. I still can’t even access her apartment because I can’t find a will and have to go to court to resolve the issue which prolongs my pain. Having to deal with her tax returns and paying her debts, too. So much paperwork to fill out. I assume once I fly up to do that it will hit me harder. I feel so alone and the weight of the responsibility along with the grieve is making me extremely depressed. I can’t find comfort and peace.

    It’s especially painful that my birthday is March 10 and I won’t be receiving a loving card from her or a phone call from her to hear that she loves me. I was blessed that she was a dedicated loving and very giving mother that wanted me to be happy. I told her often that I loved her and how grateful I was I had her in my life and she said the same to me. I’ve been lighting candles for her repeatedly. I pray that God take care of her and that she always be near me and guide me.

    There are times when I feel I can’t live without her and don’t want to live without her. What’s the point? My life seems to have very little meaning. Just have to keep going to avoid being jobless and homeless. I’ve taking some anti-depressants for now to help keep me from panicking. I prefer to be unconscious as much as possible to avoid thoughts of being alone and being anxious.

    Friends and some relatives have reached out to me but most of my mother’s family haven’t even expressed their condolences or tried to contact me. They really are callous and selfish. No respect and no compassion. I’ve received more compassion from people that aren’t my family. But soon people will tire of hearing about it and expect me to get over it and move on.

    I don’t know that I will have the strength and ability to focus on what I must do to continue living and move on. I’m told I have no choice but it’s fear that motivates me more than anything.

    I have no interest to get involved with organizations and groups to meet new people. Yet I feel I will go crazy if I continue to live the way I do. I’m just tired after work and don’t want to schlep somewhere to do that. I’m older and used to do that when I was young and wanted to party. I’m an introvert and don’t find it easy to meet others or make friends.

    The shock of it all is debilitating sometimes. I just want to crawl into a hole somewhere and hide. What will I do on Mother’s day? What will I do on her birthday, Xmas and New Year’s? Holidays used to mean a time to share time with someone you love now it’s time to realize how alone you are in the world.

    I wish God would take me now and end my sorrow and misery. I don’t see it getting better from here and all those years ahead. I’ve suffered from depression most of my life and have been on anti-depressants before and spoken to therapists before that never helped anyone but themselves by draining my bank account. I thought I finally had beaten it but now with my mother gone I’m a mess again. Lord please help me!! I believe in him but I don’t necessarily know that I believe there is a life after this one. I hope one could see the people we care about again and be with them forever but is it just wishful thinking? Faith? Well it doesn’t seem enough for me.

    I could go on and on and needed to say these things but will stop now as I am tired and need to go to bed to push myself to go to work in the morning. They tell me it gives me structure and a paycheck but I just want to vegetate somewhere until my life ends which I hope is soon. Eating has been difficult too. I’ve lost weight. But I push myself to eat so I don’t get really sick. Don’t have much vacation time left.

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  37. Wendy Dunbar

    I lost my mom suddenly 2 1/2 yrs ago. I miss her terribly. There are times I just want to pick up the phone and tell her about my day. She was the only one who seemed to understand me. And she always had that way of making me feel better. I don’t believe that will ever go away.

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    1. Wendy Dunbar

      Some times I feel like a little girl and just want her to make me feel better. Just like she always did. Some times the pain is so bad.😥

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    2. Left behind

      Wendy,
      I know, I know, I know how you feel. I posted two replies/comments above, so I won’t reiterate again here, but oh I so much know how you feel. I don’t open up easily. I’m not anti-social just not an extrovert, so my ‘circle’ is small compared to some. But of everyone, my Mom was the only one who really knew me, who really understood me — she was my best friend, never judgemental, always made whoever she was with or was talking to feel special. Every morning I wake up and think, “Mom, I miss ya so much! Somehow I made it through yesterday.” And then I wonder, “How can I possibly get through another day! ” Every day is so painful, so hard. Before my Mom died, I never experienced “lonely”. I have been alone many times in my life — never bothered me. But never ever did I feel lonely until my Mom died — and now I am lonely every day. So strange that now, even if I am in a room with 20 or 50 other people, I feel so lonely and so out of place. Nothing is or every will be as bright, beautiful, or special as it once was — not the sun, not the clear cloudless blue sky, not the blooming flowers, not the holidays, not the first day of Spring, not the first snowfall of the season — nothing. I don’t mean to sound dismal — it’s just that absolutely everything in life and here on earth is different now. I do not like the “new normal” — somehow my head will learn to live with it, but my heart will always ache and will never “get used” to it. Every day, every hour, every minute — missing my Mom and my best friend.

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      1. missyoumom

        I understand exactly how you feel. I still dream about mom almost every night. Usually she’s smiling or hugging me or just sitting in my bed and looking at me with so much love in her eyes as she did when I was little. I usually wake up feeling better as I truly believe this is her communicating with me somehow. It’s very healing to read your comments and know more people feel the same way. Don’t forget that love never dies and she will always be there for you if you listen to your heart!
        Lots of love to you all! 🙂

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  38. Paula Hunt

    El Manevitch,
    Your post could’ve been written by me, you took the words out of my mouth. My Mom passed last Aug. I thought I would get better but actually, I’m worse. I am an only child. My parents divorced when I was 6, my Mom never remarried. Mom was everything to me. I told her everyday I loved her. She gave the best hugs. She had Alzheimers for the last 7 yrs of her life. She died at age 90, so she did her time on this planet it would be unfair and selfish of me to want her back but I don’t know how I will go on with the rest of my life.

    I think grief has taken a serious toll on my health physically. I pray that I live long enough to get Mom’s house cleaned out. She was pin neat but didn’t get rid of anything. I’m married but my spouse is overseas caring for his elderly parents. He is at a breaking point himself. My friends are all spread out. My few relatives can’t understand why I just don’t get on with my life? I have traveled the world by myself but I have never felt this alone before. God bless us all this find the strength to continue for one more day.

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  39. Rylan Harrison

    Im 44yr old man, my mom unexpectedly passed away 10-1/2 yrs ago. . . And i can still hear her voice in my head. . I miss her so much and ive been going thru a difficult separation with my wife. . . And i just want my mom to hold me once and tell me, everything will be okay. . . I know im so depressed. . . It takes everything in me to get up and out of bed in the mornings. . . . I Love my mom and miss her so much. . She always knew what to say. . .

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  40. Janice

    I ran across this looking this today. It sums up most every feeling I’ve had since I lost my Mama, who was my best friend, two and a half years ago. Thank you!

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  41. Selvi

    My mum passed on suddenly March 15 at 81. I was her sole caretaker and helplessly watched her taking the last breath at home. She had given me 57 years of her life since the day I was in her womb. Her life revolved around mine and mine around hers and work. I am home alone now as I am single, never married and have no kids. Even though, I have five siblings, somehow they have moved on as they have families of their own. I died the day my mum did. I cry everyday, calling out for my mum. I sleep on her bed. Dressed one of her pillows in her clothes and hug it tight before going to bed. I have not accepted her death. I have taken time off from work to grief. Every night, i hope and wish that i would not have to wake up the next morning. It’s like my life’s purpose and responsibility has been fulfilled after my mum’s passing on.

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