Isn’t it strange how fast time flies? Isn’t it even more strange how fast time flies when the person we loved the most in this world is no longer here with us?
I can remember it as if it were yesterday, May 12th, 2013- only a few short weeks before my 48 year old mother lost her ten month battle with stage four lung cancer. I remember the exact feelings from that Mother’s Day. The feeling of being outside, the weather was getting warmer and the sun was shining. I recall looking at my mom and thinking to myself “This may be the last mother’s day I get with her”….and it was. Now here I am almost four years later, another “Motherless” Mother’s Day is approaching and I can’t help but wonder just how different my life would be if she were still physically here with me. Would I appreciate all of the things I have or was it her death that taught me how to do that? My mom was so full of life, as I am sure you mother was as well. Death is not fair, it never is. When I hear people say “Well she is in a better place now.” Or “It was her time to go.” I can’t hold back the sadness I feel. Maybe she is in a better place than she was when she was suffering through the cancer but the only place she truly ever wanted to be was by her family’s side. It angers me when I look back and realize what she has missed. There are times when I can’t even remember the sound of her voice but I can never seem to bring myself to listen to that last voicemail she had left me. How can four years make you forget the sound of somebody’s voice who was such a big part of your life? You wake up one day and you start to forget all of the things and feelings you swore you would always remember. I wanted the world to stop when my mother died but life goes on and it goes too fast. I miss my mother now more than ever, as I grow older she stays forever young.
So as I approach my fourth Mother’s Day without my mom I will still continue to do what I’ve done every single Mother’s Day. I will celebrate the beautiful life that was cut way too short. I will not sit around and feel sorry for myself, I will feel proud that I was able to have 24 wonderful years with one of the most amazing people I have ever met, My mother. And as other’s celebrate with their mother I will celebrate my mother, I will honor her, I will remember her, I will send her a little balloon to heaven, and I will make sure that her life is never, ever forgotten.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mother’s in heaven and Happy Mother’s Day to all of the “Motherless” out there, I want you to know that you are never alone.