Another “Motherless” Mother’s Day

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Isn’t it strange how fast time flies?  Isn’t it even more strange how fast time flies when the person we loved the most in this world is no longer here with us?

I can remember it as if it were yesterday, May 12th, 2013- only a few short weeks before my 48 year old mother lost her ten month battle with stage four lung cancer.  I remember the exact feelings from that Mother’s Day.  The feeling of being outside, the weather was getting warmer and the sun was shining.  I recall looking at my mom and thinking to myself “This may be the last mother’s day I get with her”….and it was.  Now here I am almost four years later, another “Motherless” Mother’s Day is approaching and I can’t help but wonder just how different my life would be if she were still physically here with me.  Would I appreciate all of the things I have or was it her death that taught me how to do that?  My mom was so full of life, as I am sure you mother was as well. Death is not fair, it never is.  When I hear people say “Well she is in a better place now.” Or “It was her time to go.” I can’t hold back the sadness I feel. Maybe she is in a better place than she was when she was suffering through the cancer but the only place she truly ever wanted to be was by her family’s side. It angers me when I look back and realize what she has missed.  There are times when I can’t even remember the sound of her voice but I can never seem to bring myself to listen to that last voicemail she had left me.   How can four years make you forget the sound of somebody’s voice who was such a big part of your life?  You wake up one day and you start to forget all of the things and feelings you swore you would always remember. I wanted the world to stop when my mother died but life goes on and it goes too fast.  I miss my mother now more than ever, as I grow older she stays forever young.

So as I approach my fourth Mother’s Day without my mom I will still continue to do what I’ve done every single Mother’s Day.  I will celebrate the beautiful life that was cut way too short.  I will not sit around and feel sorry for myself, I will feel proud that I was able to have 24 wonderful years with one of the most amazing people I have ever met, My mother.  And as other’s celebrate with their mother I will celebrate my mother, I will honor her, I will remember her, I will send her a little balloon to heaven, and I will make sure that her life is never, ever forgotten.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mother’s in heaven and Happy Mother’s Day to all of the “Motherless” out there, I want you to know that you are never alone.

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12 thoughts on “Another “Motherless” Mother’s Day

  1. Michelle

    I’ve just gotten through the “2nd Anniversary” of losing my Mommy Dearest 48 days after my Dad passed as well.
    NOTHING prepares us Nothing.
    I understand your words & appreciated reading this. God Bless You for sharing these raw but honest emotions, I understand. 😇😇

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  2. Debbie

    I lost my mom 18 days after my 12th birthday. She passed away suddenly after an operation. I have spent 48 years without my mom on Mother’s Day. I continue to miss her, but know that we will see each other again.

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  3. Sheryl

    I choose to not use the word motherless to describe myself or the day. I am not motherless, my mother is simply not here with me physically. I miss her daily but am so grateful for the time I had with her. I feel the perspective we place on our grief emotions is important and has an impact on how we feel.

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  4. Vicki

    I’m 25 now and I lost my mother when I was 11 after a 2 year battle with ovarian cancer. She died 11 days before her 40th birthday. I always thought that the older I get the less it will weigh on my heart. But the truth is, the older I get the more it hurts. It never gets easier to me. I still think about her every single day. My parents had a love that could take over the world. I have disconnected with him because even after all these years I can still see the pain and hurt in his eyes. I like to think I’m like her and I hope I can be a loving mother one day just like she was

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  5. Pat

    This is my second Mother’s Day without my mom. Thought it was gonna be easier but I believe it’s harder. Miss you mom. Happy Mothers Day in heaven love you

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  6. Jamie

    Mothers day 2013 was the last one I was able to spend with my mother also. She was diagnosed with bile duct cancer April 15th 2013 and passed June 8 2013. I’ve since had my youngest baby girl, she just turned one. I’m thankful for everyday my oldest got to spend with my mother, but at the same time it hurts so much that my one year old Will never get to hear her nana tell her how beautiful she is and how much she loves her. It is a heartache that doesn’t ever lighten up. I’m so very sorry for your loss and for everyone that knows this pain we share.

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  7. Julie Nicholson Romano

    This is my 21st Mother’s Day without my mom (who incidentally told me she had cancer on Mother’s Day) – I don’t really celebrate this day. My husband has in recent years encouraged me to send a card to my step-mom – but I’m reluctant. I’m waiting for the next big milestone when (if) I celebrate my 48th birthday – officially outliving my mom (6 more years to go). I have already been without her longer than I knew her. Being a motherless daughter has certainly shaped who I am – a strong independent woman. I think I would trade it to have had her longer though.

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  8. Meg

    I lost my mother to stage 4 lung cancer on Aug 3 2013. I also have a last voicemail. I try not to play it. Every mothers day I feel guilty and I curl up in bed and ignore the world. Why should I care I don’t have a mother..but I do care cause it is completely unfair that she is not here. Maybe I will try to celebrate her this year instead. Thank you for sharing

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  9. Rita

    While this will be my 5th year without my Mother, I am truly grateful for all the beautiful memories she left with my siblings and myself. We lost her at the end of 2012, but we gained so much more….The inheritances she left us all. Not monetary inheritances, but that of the life lessons that she left us with, each one of is carrying them on into adulthood. In October (the month she passed away, yet 4 years later) of 2016, I became a mother for the first time myself. I tell my son everyday that his guardian angel looking out for him is his beautiful grandmother. I truly believe he sees her from time to time in his sleep, because he smiles and laughs just totally out of the blue. So no…..I don’t really have a “motherless” mother’s day anymore. I will continue my Mother’s love and legacy to my son, and any future children to come…..for as we know…..a legacy never truly does. I love you, Mom. Happy Heavenly Mother’s Day. 💓

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  10. Paige

    I am going to experience my first day with my in heaven. She died February 25th and the pain is still raw. My Dad has dementia and they always planned for him to go first. That didn’t happen. I lost my mom and had to move my dad into assisted living. He looks so scared and lonely without her. My heart is heavy.

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  11. Tina

    This is my first mothers day without my mom. I can’t imagine how it’s going to feel every year mother’s comes around… sorry for everyone lost..

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