It’s pretty simple—happiness not only feels good, but it is good for your health, your relationships, your work, and your life in general. This world needs more happy people. Experiencing true happiness is a matter of changing your thoughts, being grateful, being kind, smiling, and living a life you love.

These 10 little steps can change the way you look at life, love, and relationships. Wake up each day with a smile on your face, clear your mind of any negative thoughts, and make it a point to practice these steps so you can achieve a true sense of happiness.

1. Ignore the opinions of others.

What others think of you should never outshine what you think of yourself.

2. Know your worth.

You know what you have to offer, so why settle for any less than you deserve? Always remember that no one will ever value you more than you value yourself.

3. Do what you love & love what you do.

You know that old saying, “If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life?” Either find something that you love to do, or make it a point to make what you do be something you love. If you wake up every morning with the mindset that you are going to have a kick-ass day, you simply will have a kick-ass day.

4. Express gratitude.

Many of us could be a lot happier if we practiced gratitude for what we already have rather than focusing all our attention on what we don’t have.

5. Let go of anger.

Holding a grudge or holding onto any type of anger won’t do anything but cause resentment. Dwelling on the past is only going to hold you back from having a better future. Hate is a very heavy bag to carry; let it go.

6. Live in the moment.

I sometimes get lost in my thoughts and think way too far ahead. Doing that only causes me to get frustrated when/if things don’t go my way. Live for today, because tomorrow is never promised.

Ever hear of the simple act of paying for the person behind you in line at the local coffee shop? Something as little as holding the door open for somebody or letting somebody cut in front of you in traffic can make you feel better about yourself.

8. Be yourself.

Try not to compare yourself with others. Everyone is unique in his or her own way. Embrace your features along with your flaws. Be the best you that you can be.

9. Be honest.

Always be honest with yourself. Figure out exactly what it is that you want and what you expect from yourself along with what you expect out of friendships and/or romantic relationships. If you know what you really want, you’ll achieve it more quickly.

and last but not least…

10. Smile.

Smiling is infectious; you can catch it like a cold. I was feeling pretty down today. While I was out on my lunch break, a stranger flashed me a huge smile. When I smiled back I realized I didn’t have much of a reason to be feeling down. That stranger’s smile turned my whole day around.

Heartbreak is real.

I’m not talking about the kind of heart break you feel after a break up, I am talking about that gut wrenching, soul crushing pain that you can actually feel in your chest.  When someone you love dies a little piece of our hearts die with them and I don’t think the piece are ever fully put back together but I do believe that we find a way to heal our hearts.

 Grieving is a process.

We see all those websites and books that are supposed to tell us how to heal from our grief but everyone’s grief is different.  It takes time to work through the pain and it doesn’t just magically go away, we don’t wake up one day and say to ourselves “my grief is gone.” On the back cover of my new book “Life Still Goes On” I mention that nobody can tell you how to grieve, there is no right or wrong way and words although they sometimes help, may never be enough. Take your time, grieve on your own terms. Grief stays with us forever but it is up to you how you are going to work through it.

Memories are gold.

Oh the memories, they flood through my mind all the time. The good memories are more so from before my mom was diagnosed with cancer but I will literally NEVER forget the last few days of her life. We shared laughs, cries, and all different types of emotions but the memory I will be forever grateful for occurred just minutes before she died. I knew something was wrong, she was rushed to the Medical ICU where her heart rate was sky high and her blood pressure was dangerously low. My heart was beating out of my chest, I grabbed her hand looked her right in the eyes and my last words to her were “I love you so much”. She looked at me, squeezed my hand and she didn’t have to say a word, I knew how much she loved me. In that moment I realized that I have received more love from her in my 24 years with her than most receive in a life time.

Your strength will amaze you.

You never know how strong you are until you have to be.  Before my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer I never knew that I could make it through all of the things I had to witness while she was sick.  I remember the day that she told me that she may have lung cancer, I said “if you do in fact have lung cancer I don’t think I want to live anymore.”  I couldn’t imagine life without my vibrant, young mother. I didn’t even want to prepare myself for the horrible things that were ahead for us but it was in that moment that I realized that I have to be strong for her.  She was the one who was going through this and somehow I felt that it was affecting me more but it wasn’t.  She just didn’t show her pain because she was more worried about how it would make her family feel.  I remember when she was sick I would picture what my life would be like without her and I would get so angry.  Anger doesn’t get us anywhere. After losing her I remembered the strength that she had through so many painful nights in the hospital and I think in a way that is where I got my strength from.

 Life goes on.

My mom always said that life goes on and after losing her I quickly learned that no truer words have ever been spoken.  As much as I wanted the world to stop after she died, it didn’t.  Time moves so fast and we find ourselves years later still living without that person physically here.  We look back and wonder how the heck we’ve made it this far.  Time stops for no one and nor will it ever so we might as well make the best of it while we are here.

“Nothing last forever, not the pain, not the sorrow.  The only thing that may last forever is the love we have for one another.” Continue reading →